Sunday, July 29, 2012

Hey, Take A Little While - EQ2

Tinkerfest is here again
The skies above are clear again
So let’s sing a song of cheer again
Tinkerfest is here again !

Tinkerfest, finest of all Norrath's public holidays! How happy we are to see you! How much longer than one short year seems the wait for your annual appearance. How all too brief your stay with us when at last it arrives.

The crowds gathered in breathless anticipation as the hour approached. And passed.
Pardon me. I didn't realize it was formal dress.
Had the gnomish alarm clock failed to go off? Had Bristlebane finally defeated Brell in an arm wrestling contest and become the Gnome owner he'd always believed he was born to be? Would there be no tinkering til Bristlebane Day and nothing but clockwork whoopee cushions in the new blueprint?

Or had SOE chosen this most hallowed of holidays to trot out their party piece yet again? Ladies and gentleman, a big hand for the Mr Bean of MMOs, the one company incapable of organizing a drinking contest in a Dwarven alehouse, I give you Sony Online Entertainment. At least one of those words always spoken with an ironic intonation. Probably not the first one.

Time passed. News came there none. The crowds grew restive, then restiver (is that a word?). The discovery that one of the gnomes in Gnomeland Security was killable led to repeated and entirely unjustified reprisals. If in doubt, kill a gnome. It's the Norrathian way.

Sorry mate. Not my department.
The four celebratory aether races continued. The gnomes responsible for those had miraculously assembled them both instantaneously and on time. They had no comment to make about the ongoing absence of their tinkering compatriots. It was Hamlet without the Prince, Queen without Freddie. It was bloody annoying is what it was.

Adding insult to injury since 1999
 Some eight and a half hours past the scheduled time, with no fanfare nor even a Broadcast "Better late than never", up popped the gnomes. Just at the exact time the Sunday shift would have arrived at work, sat down at their desks, checked their messages and... "Geez! Can no-one do anything right? FFS, ok, give me ten minutes to finish my coffee and I'll sort it".

I've lived in Norrath for a dozen years. I'm British. I grew up in the 1970s. Honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. Seriously.

In case you're interested, Tinkerfest is here until August 8th. Or until someone remembers to switch it off.

In other news, Qeynos got revamped. You may have missed it. Even if you were there. Since I waxed apprehensive then relieved about Freeport, I felt duty-bound to visit Qeynos, to take some screenshots of the changes. I went but I couldn't find any. Wilhelm did, sort of, so go look at his.  

And a No Prize (remember those?) for the first person who correctly identifies where the post title comes from.

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