Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Meta Enough For You Yet? : GW2

Trampled underfoot by the Borlis zerg, my poor Asuran necromancer lying crushed into the dirt at Bay, I took a moment to tab out of GW2 to check Feedly. A link to Massively led me to the following headline :

Release page for Guild Wars 2's upcoming patch vandalized by marauding villain.

For a fleeting moment I thought hackers were back at their tricks but then the wording struck me. No-one short of Shaggy or Velma could conceivably use the term "marauding villain" and expect to be taken seriously. Something stranger than a simple hack attack must have happened.

Indeed it had. ArenaNet have splashed virtual paint over their own website, slashed red crosses through Queen Jennah's eyes and turned her pouting smile into a scary clown frown. Well, it got my attention. I'm a sucker for a touch of postmodern decontextualization, me.

A few very lucky websites also received this lovely fob-watch. Perks of the job I guess. (The GW2Guru folks kindly donated theirs to the upcoming Pink Day In LA charity event).

With the watch came a rather clumsily scanned poem. I won't reproduce the whole thing, but the first verse is certainly intriguing:

Tick tock goes the clock
It's almost time for time to stop
Something you all must understand
Your world is built on fog and sand

Make of that what you will. It's almost enough to make me believe Jeromai's theory. I hope that is where we're going with this. It wouldn't be original but at least it would be a closed loop, and I've wanted to know what those Steam creatures were up to since the first time I ran into them out in Lornar's Pass.

It all kicks off on the 20th, which falls very conveniently between the end of the ultra-short FFXIV open beta and the beginning of Head Start. After all this build-up, I do hope it's a one-off event like the Karka invasion last November, even if that means I miss it and end up watching it on YouTube. I'd really hate to think all this is leading to something that repeats every couple of hours so we can go on another two-week Achievement binge.


  1. I guess I'm jaded, but my reaction to this was "What a cool way to promote what's most likely going to be an underwhelming event."

    And then I was sad that I can't even get all that excited about the Living Story anymore.

    1. Can't say I'll be surprised if it turns out distinctly underwhelming either but I'm hoping that even if the format is weak at least the storyline might finally begin to make some sense, or at least as much as these things ever do!

  2. I'll bet you a Dolyak and a half it's just another one of those story instances which will last 10 minutes.

    Personally, I'm imagining a dungeon of some kings, like the second half of F&F and DB. Their ability to design interesting fights have improved dramatically since the game launch. Hope it makes up for the mind-numbing farm-fest that is QJ so far.


    1. Are we due a dungeon? Which LS team's turn is it?

    2. Ii'm not certain of course, but...

      F&F - Dungeon
      SoS - No dungeon
      DB - Dungeon
      ZS - No Dungeon

      If the pattern holds, another dungeon?


  3. I don't think you'll be getting your one time event.

    Also way to make the bad guy seem threatening, lowering their standards to common vandalism. That's akin to Sauron sending Frodo some hate mail, and possibly stomping through his garden (then running away).

    1. "There will not be a one time event in the next release."

      Lol! That's unambiguous for once. No need to rush home form work then.

      The level of villainy displayed by defacing Queen Jennah's poster is entirely in keeping with Scarlet's "Nyah Nyah! Can't get me!" act in the Crown Pavilion, come to think of it. Does Jennah have an eight-year old daughter who didn't get the pony she was promised, by any chance?

    2. Only one person can be this annoying. Scarlet (or whoever the mysterious figure is) is a gender swapped Trahearne, from the steam dimension!

      The infinity ball asura doppleganger was just a "commander" after all right? This won't end well... :P


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