Monday, November 3, 2014

Lion's Arch: A Work In Progress? : GW2

Halloween in Tyria is almost over. Tomorrow the Lionguard will pack up all the hay bales and pumpkins and ship them off of to the Ascalonian farmlands for the Charr farmers to use as winter cattle-feed. They'll unhook the bat bunting from the streetlights and pack it away for next year. You didn't think those were real bats did you? Mad King Thorn and his emo offspring Prince "Don't Call Me Eddie" Edrick will return to the Mad Realm by whatever wormhole in the space-time continuum they arrived and that will be that until Tixx's airship drones into view towing Wintersday behind it.

Between holidays we'll all just have to make do with that old chestnut, the life or death battle with the dragons, as Meldromoth makes his bid for floral world domination. Ho hum.

I've enjoyed this year's Halloween. Better than the first, back in 2012, which inconveniently arrived just as we were about to go on holiday and upset me with its needless vandalism. Better than last year's on which I didn't even bother to report. No, this year we've both done our Halloween dailies every day, enjoyed the odd zerg around The Mad Lab, acquired kittens with bows, 20 slot pails and candy by the barrow-load and its all been jolly good fun. Even Mad King Thorn seems to have acquired a new gag writer. We can only hope the old one suffered a similar fate to the hapless Estrella, who he put in a coffin filled with rats and dumped into the sea.

Perhaps the most enjoyable part of the whole holiday has been the way it brought Lion's Arch back to life. Well, I say that. It may well be that L.A. has been a bustling hive of happy activity for months. I wouldn't know. I've barely been there since we drove out Scarlet's armies and left a smoking ruin in place of the magical, piratical, wooden wonderland we all loved or at least loved to stand around in.

So, what progress has been made on the repairs and refurbishment of the city and the re-housing of the refugees towards which we all contributed so generously during Queen Jenna's last Pavilion bash? It's your money they're spending after all. Here's a pictorial progress report.

The Financial Center 

The Vault. One bored, irritable guard. Guarding an empty building. Progress: zero.
The Trading Post. One skritt of dubious fiscal probity running a grey-market lottery out of a derelict shell. Progress: Zero.


Bridges and walkways. Workers still hammering away. Roads still full of holes. Progress: Zero.


The Lighthouse. Fully rebuilt and looking great. Shame that project dates back to the Karka invasion. Progress: None required.

Emergency Services

Fires and debris. Still raging and/or lying there. Delete as appropriate. Progress: zero.


Private residency. Looting rampant. Corrupt Lionguard observed in the act of accepting a bribe of Krait wine. Progress: uncertain.

Recreation and Entertainment

Tigg's Moa Races. Asura entrepreneur getting back on his feet thanks to family backing. No evidence of any help or assistance from the authorities. Progress: encouraging but independent.

And there you have it. A damning indictment of the inadequate and incompetent response of the Lion's Arch authorities. That's what you get for voting in Kiel. Evon would have had the trains running on time by now. If we had trains.


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