Do You Really Want To Hurt Me? : FFXIV:ARR

For most MMOs political correctness ends where the gameworld begins. Customer service will quite rightly be on you like a ton of bricks should they catch you expressing yourself in a way that would see you, if not in court, then at least socially ostracized in the real world, but if you want to rag on someone for an aspect of the race they've chosen to adopt as their in-game persona then go ahead, give it your best shot.

What's more the internal politics and culture of the virtual worlds, where our characters grew up and where, by reason, they should be far more at home than we are, tend not only to allow these attitudes but to shape and often actively encourage them. In the high summer of Everquest it was not unusual for a dwarven cleric, as he sat meditating to restore the mana he'd just drained keeping the ogre warrior in his party upright, to find the self-same ogre offering him some delicious Dwarf Chops as a snack. The ogre wasn't offering any undersized slices of pigmeat, either. He meant actual pieces of an actual dwarf, chopped up and roasted with spices and garnish, quite possibly by the very ogre now handing it around the group.

When you said "study at my feet" I didn't think you meant it literally

Someone in the original Everquest design team thought it would be completely fine for the playable races in the world they were imagining to consider each other not only as potential allies or enemies but as a staple source of nutrition. It wasn't just a couple of items sold by an NPC for a quick giggle, like the Dwarf Pickles you could buy in Freeport, either. The original baking skill included recipes for the meat of all player races and they were widely used, too, both practically for the stat boosts they provided and for the endless opportunities they opened up for boisterous humor in the most dubious of taste. If I had a platinum piece for every time my gnome cleric was offered a gnome kabob...

Forget the Charr/human squabble! Did no-one remember the cat/mouse thing?

Time moves on and consenting cannibalism between playable races appears to have gone out of fashion, only to be replaced by an unreconstructed 19th century approach to racial interaction. It's a pot that's been bubbling for a while but it came to a rolling boil in Guild Wars 2, where I admit to being mildly shocked during my personal story to find the great and the good among the three Orders that aspire to what passes for the moral high ground in Tyria blithely referring to potential allies in the fight against the dragons as "lesser races".

They're letting anyone in these days!

Given the level of technological and engineering expertise, not to mention the political sophistication, demonstrated by the Dredge, the devastating intellectual potential of the Skritt hive mind or the philosophical gravitas and nobility of the Kodan this seems an attitude steeped not just in arrogance but in ignorance too. Maybe the "lesser" races don't build baroque metropolises like Divinity's Reach, The Black Citadel or Rata Sum but a gift for ostentatious construction does not alone grant moral superiority.

The melting pot that is Lion's Arch makes for a much brighter indicator of more modern ways of thinking. Way back in beta I was gleeful to spot a Skritt citizen even though at the time I didn't quite know what it was that I was seeing. Most sentient races find a home in Lion's Arch, trading, laboring, making diplomatic representations. There's no lesser race representative on the Captain's Council now but one day, who knows?

And so to Eorzea with its moral and political infrastructure so very strongly reminiscent of Tyria's, its Grand Companies matching the Orders, its Scions of the Seventh Dawn mirroring the Pact and the overweening threat of the Garlean Empire creating the same need for unity as the Elder Dragons: here we also find a categorical divide between the superior, playable races and the inferior, non-playable beast tribes. At first the attitudes exhibited by NPCs and by implication expected of player-characters feel just as unpalatable, but as the narrative unfolds and, particularly, as side-quests deepen understanding of the milieu and the ambivalence of the settled races comes into focus, there does seem to be, if not justification then at least an explanation that rings true.

So you say...

Behind every beast race lowers a Primal, a kind of minor deity or force of nature. The very presence of the Primals is said to threaten the existence of Eorzea, largely because of the need for the beast tribes to expend vast amounts of aetheric crystals to summon their patron Primal. Not to mention that, when summoned, these immensely powerful entities tend to be highly inimical to all but their sponsored race, posing a direct threat to life, limb and liberty for anyone unlucky enough to be in the area at the time.

Got any fork handles?

Yet even with good reason to shun or fear them, many beast tribes are not just tolerated but welcomed in Eorzea's cities and towns. Goblins and Qiqirn especially seem well-integrated, respected according to their actions and personalities rather than judged purely on their race or appearance. It's a pure joy to trade with Qiqirn in their junkyards or sit in the dust as a Goblin master craftsman teaches you the basics of Materia.

For me, at least, the diversity of its races and the complexities of their interactions are one of the great pillars upon which the whole edifice of a high-fantasy virtual world rests. A wide variety of playable races is an obvious indicator when it comes to choosing one MMO over another in today's overcrowded field, but in many ways it's how the the unplayed, unplayable races are presented and developed that can end up mattering more.

Snow On Her Shoes, Frost In Her Hair : FFXIV

MMOs tend to be much more alike than they are different. Every new entrant to the field comes freighted with ghost memories, reaching outwards from the designers, inward from the players. In the same way we struggle to describe a new band without citing past names as calibration, so all talk of new games relies on references to those we've already played.

Playing FFXIV, the constant referent in our small Linkshell has been Vanguard, in great part for the crafting which bears many similarities, but also for the settings, the feel and most especially the look. In its day the game to which the late Keith Parkinson gave his unmistakeable visual stamp was rated by many, myself among them, as the best-looking virtual world yet brought to screen. Not everyone agreed. Some people positively loathed its gritty textures and pointed at the ill-fitting rocks that could, not infrequently, be found floating a few inches clear of the ground.

I barely noticed those shortcomings at the time, swept up as I was in the richness of the tapestry of that huge, open world but re-visit Vanguard now and the dropped stitches show. It does look tired.

Technology and taste, neither of them stand still. Right now FFXIV seems to me, by some margin, the most visually accomplished virtual world into which I have stepped but five years on, maybe a lot sooner than that, Eorzea too may look worn and weary. Greedy eyes may all be focused elsewhere.

For the while, though,it's a joy to explore. If I have a current goal it's to visit all the overland zones and take a positively heroic quantity of screenshots. As I mentioned in a reply to Chris K.'s comment on the previous post, gorgeous though the screenshots are they don't really do justice to what I see in-game when I take them. The lighting and weather effects particularly rely on motion and don't always come across. Maybe I should take some video.




In a restless drive to open out the world and find new horizons, last night I made it to Coerthas Central Highlands, a 35ish zone somewhat above my Arcanist's level but not so far as to make a cautious traveler pale. It's the first snow zone and snow zones have a long history of being among my favorites in any MMO. Sometimes they can be featureless expanses of white; more often they're pristine, shimmering wonderlands of silver and winter blue. Occasionally, like Carpathian Fangs in The Secret World the snow has clearly lain for a long while, becoming trammeled with mud from the wheels of passing carts and the blood-caked boots of adventurers.

What I've seen of Coerthas so far is closer to Carpathian Teeth than Iron Pine Peaks although it's hard to be sure since it seems to have been night for most of the time I've been there. Perhaps days are shorter in the North. The only action my Arcanist has seen so far was when she engaged what appeared to be some Demons in a FATE. That turned out rather well, and profitably, but when there's no gang to follow she's felt safer behind the impressively thick walls of some very doughty keeps, not least since around her the muttering is of dragons.

Faint hear ne'er won fair screenshot, however, so in the interests of Eorzean photojournalism this evening will see her pushing ever further northwards in search of mystery, adventure and, with any luck, a snowstorm or two. until the inevitable yet almost certainly unforeseen encounter, possibly even with the rumored dragon, returns her without ceremony or warning to her bind.

Which is in Ul'Dah, the desert city far to the south. Good thing FFXIV's not quite so old-school as to require a return trip to corpse or a prayer at a gravestone. That's one nostalgic note I can manage very happily without.

No Bombing At The Moonfire Fair! : FFXIV:ARR

The Moonfire Fair arrived in Eorzea yesterday, coming as something of a surprise on pretty much every level. Firstly because who was expecting any kind of holiday event to appear barely two weeks after launch, secondly because the image conjured by its softly evocative name belies the bizarre and jarring reality and thirdly because all the rewards are bloody swimsuits!!

There seems to be a strange tradition of swimwear festivals among some non-Western MMOs. They pop up in news articles or promos from time to time but always in games I don't play so I can't say I've payed much attention. Until now.

Oh, I was a little surprised all that time ago back in GW2's series of beta weekends when I arrived in Lion's Arch to find a whole lot of people in swimming trunks and bikinis lounging on the beach. Especially since it was nighttime. And then there was Southsun. Still, when all's said and done,those were beaches.

Isn't that a fire risk?

Ul'Dah is not a beach. Ul'Dah is a hot, dry desert city baking under a fierce sun. Beyond the steps of the city lie dusty plains and scrubland studded with gritty outposts and dangerous beasts. True, there is a very nice seaside resort just down the road but those gates are firmly locked right now. Gridania isn't a beach town either. It's a sprawling settlement deep in a thick forest. It rains a lot and my guess is it's pretty cold. Limsa Lominsa is on the coast but far out on a rocky promontory, whipped by winds, suitable for fishing in good wet weather gear but not, so far as I can tell, for beach volleyball.

Inappropriate weather conditions and absence of anywhere to lay down a towel doesn't cover the half of it, though. It seems that when the Fair comes in through one city gate all normal dress codes and indeed any form of modesty and decency go straight out the other.

Hmphh. Some people just have no self-respect.

Of course it's not as though the guards in any of these cities ever seem to enforce any kind of modicum of considerate or even sane behavior on the public streets in the first place. You can set up a crafting station just about anywhere, never mind it stops the traffic for blocks around and then there is that strange thing where when you take up a new craft all your clothes fall off, so I guess public semi-nudity is already something of a cultural norm in the three city states.

As a good tourist I always try to adapt to cultural norms. In this case that means both the real culture behind the game and the culture in which the game is set. Also, free stuff. It might never have occurred to me that what a Lalafell really needed along with her ancient magic crystal, her supernatural gift, her deeply mysterious destiny and her membership of a Secret Society was a blue two-piece swimsuit but if it's free...

Topaz! It's rude to stare! She's just a poor lady that can't afford clothes.

I spoke to the Cascadier Captian at the Moonfire Fair and got a long and frankly incomprehensible spiel that left me none the wiser. I had the vague impression I was supposed to go throw buckets of water over some firemen to cool them down.  Well that couldn't possibly be right. That would be silly, wouldn't it, and heaven forfend anyone should think there's anything silly about all this.

So I asked where I might get the Wet Ash the swimwear salesperson takes in trade and Mrs Bhagpuss offered to send me some in the post. She had some left over after buying bikinis in three different colors as well as a pair of shorts that she couldn't wear because apparently while you can walk the streets almost naked and no-one will bat an eye, if a girl should put on a pair of shorts meant for a guy cats would lie down with dogs and like that.

I do so too know how to have fun.

Anyway, I wanted to get the whole full-fat Moonfair experience for myself, not just mooch Wet Ash off a Linkie (going with that for the Guildie eqivalent) so she told me to go look for one of the special FATEs. She'd been doing them in Costa del Sol, a place I have yet to visit in Eorzea although I've been there often enough in real life. At least from the sound of it beachwear would for once be entirely appropriate, but apparently the FATEs can pop anywhere so I didn't feel the need to make a special trip.

They might be able to pop anywhere but they don't, at least not very often. Either that or I was just unlucky. I wandered around for an hour or so chasing a mysterious masked man in a black robe who turned out to be remarkably lax with security procedures and eventually I happened on an unfamiliar FATE full of Bombs (that's a type of mob. Yes, it confused me too).

If I keep my gloves on this didn't really happen.

Several minutes of highly entertaining, highly explosive combat later I had a bag full of wet ash. A fast chocobo ride back to Ul'Dah, a quick handover and my Lalafell became the uncertain owner of a blue bikini and a sparkler (I forgot to mention the fireworks) and that so far as I could tell was that.

Nothing left to do but go dance with the catgirls. Please throw money.

It's Hammer Time!

A couple of months ago I came across an odd, unheralded MMO called The Hammers End. I thought it looked really intriguing but it had the oddest payment model: a $14.95 per month subscription with a one hour free trial.

Yep. That's right. One hour.

I played my hour and would happily have played more but I didn't have a window that would justify spending the $14.95. It's not that I thought that was too much, just that I knew I wouldn't have time to play.

Well, I still don't have time to play but I just happened to notice that now the one hour trial has grown to a much more traditional and practical fourteen days. I'll make time for that.

Might not be this month, but it will be this year. If anyone has more time hanging heavy than  I do and yearns for an old school MMO with added rodent, now's your chance. Let us know how it goes.

White Line Fever

First up, my apologies for the messed-up layout. The first I knew about it was when I read S. Tolga Kirtiloglu's comment this morning. Something happened either to Blogger in general or Inventory Full in particular while I was asleep last night that truncated the right side of every post and after a couple of hours fiddling with it this morning I can't figure out what might have changed nor what I need to do to get it back to exactly how it was.

Using my very rusty and extremely limited HTML skills I have just about managed to make things readable again but who knows what damage I may have done to the alignment of all previous posts. I've also lost the white line that marks the border on the right, but that's a small price to pay for readability.

I have the original template saved, so if, as I hope, this turns out to be some Blogger glitch that corrects itself I can restore everything to its former glory. Pending that, if anyone has any suggestions on how to wrestle Blogger into behaving itself again I'd be glad to hear them. Meanwhile, at least it's readable and I suppose that's the main thing.

I woke up intending to do something about the integration of Beastmen, Sentient Monsters and other non-player races into the various milieus and societies our characters inhabit but despite the conversation with Swoo Sousa in Comments about my supposed current preference for writing about playing over actually playing, I find that on this particular occasion I would in fact rather play. I'm out of creative or analytical energy after all that techno-fiddling and I feel the need to go take out my frustrations on some harmless wildlife.

In the meantime, have some pretty pictures.

[Edit] After a happy afternoon killing Cell Mites in Thousand Maws I came back for another look. With the invaluable aid of The Blogger Guide I give you Inventory Full Widescreen !

I've been less than happy with the narrow format for a while now but I probably wouldn't ever have gotten around to changing it. Every cloud etc. Let's just hope Blogger plays nicely with the new look.

All the old posts are now hopelessly out of kilter, of course, but you can't have everything. I'll work my way through them gradually and resize the illustrations where needed. Should only take me a couple of years...

Someone's in a better mood than I am...

Did I log into The Endless Forest by mistake?

Um...nice rock...

FFXIV : A Realm Reviewed

Probably to the surprise of most people playing or more accurately trying to play, FFXIV's Big Fix earlier in the week did in fact fix things as promised. From the moment the servers came back up I've been able to log in without difficulty just as if I was playing a normal MMO. It's also been possible once again to make new characters on most NA/EU servers. Only a handful remain closed.

As far as I can tell, Digital Download sales are still on hold although there are conflicting reports on that. Once Square are convinced the fix has worked the tap will no doubt be turned back on because when it comes right down to it getting your money is why they made this thing in the first place.

It seems like a fair enough point to stop and take stock of what we've got, so here from the extremely limited perspective of a Level 24 Arcanist are my thoughts so far.

Graphics : Fantastic, running to breathtaking. Without a doubt the most visually gorgeous MMO I have ever played. GW2 is more painterly and certainly passes FFXIV on the Baroque scale but FFXIV has considerably greater geological heft, which counts more for me. There are times when I look at the monitor and feel like Lucy in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. You could just step through the frame and be there.  

Aesthetic and Milieu : Absolutely top-notch. Everywhere looks and feels like a proper place. The farmland looks like it's being worked, every outpost feels like somewhere people live, each Inn has an authentic ambiance. NPC placement and idling activity is the best I've seen. Although inevitably if you hang around in one place for long you'll hear the same conversations again and again, a huge amount of care has been taken to set things up to avoid stageiness. The set design is exemplary, never over-done nor fussy, always convincing. There's a naturalistic approach in the way the world has been built that works wonderfully as an anchor against whimsy and boy, do you need that anchor: there's a lot of whimsy.

Weather and Lighting:  I love weather. I find it endlessly fascinating in our world and I love to see it simulated in the imaginary places where I spend so much time. Weather in Eorzea is a real pleasure. The dark nights might be a little too much of a good thing but rather that than the  blue-tinted daylight of other MMOs. When it rains it varies from a light shower to a pounding downpour with wind whipping the tails of your robe and standing water splashing back from your running feet. When the sun shines everything glows and beneath the trees the shadows of the leaves make moving patterns.

Light doesn't just change once from day to night, it changes throughout the twenty-four hour cycle. Sunrise, early morning, late morning, noon, afternoon, evening, sunset... I haven't counted the changes but there are many. I've even sat and waited to see the light change, and not just the one time, either.

Wildlife : Wonderful, whimsical, weird. Almost everything looks like it failed the audition for Where The Wild Things Are for being too unrealistic. If you hear the word "Pelican" and your mind's eye sees a twelve-foot long gunmetal blue dinosaur with orange wattles the size of a tablecloth and a snout like a shovel then you should send your portfolio to Square because you'll fit right in. It's an approach I absolutely love but I can see that it might be a bit much for someone with a lower tolerance for flights of fancy than mine.

















As for the real big, bad monsters they're probably more scary than cute but I haven't really seen enough of them to tell yet. 

The World, The Map and Travel : Eorzea is big. Much bigger than I thought from beta. There are three large cities, more than a dozen outdoor zones and I believe there are at least as many dungeons as well. The zones are detailed, multi-layered and complex and richly repay exploring. There are invisible walls so you can't get to everything you can see, but it rarely feels restrictive.

The map is rubbish. Really. I can't even say it looks nice. It looks mediocre and it barely works at all. It is better than it was in beta, when it was fit to make you scream, but it needs work. A lot of work.

The upside is that you need to learn landmarks to navigate and there are lots of them. This is not a cut-and-paste world where every farm looks like the last one and every boulder splits down the same fault. It's a hand-built land of wonder and an observant traveler can soon enough learn its paths. And you'll need to be a traveler because every node in the Aethernet, every chocobo porter, every Ferry and Airship dock must be visited in person and opened up. I absolutely love that system, always have. Once you learn the connections, memorize the pathways, register your name with the relevant authorities you'll  begin to feel you've earned the right to call yourself a resident of Eorzea. That's a feeling worth more than any number of convenient instant map clicks.

UI : I've seen a few complaints about inflexibility, particularly over not being able to move the chat box, but it works for me. It seems like a fairly traditional MMO set-up with hotbars and information windows about as you'd expect. As someone who almost always plays MMOs with the default UI left pretty much intact I found it comfortable and easy to use from minute one. Someone who likes to mod UIs to within a pixel of their life probably isn't going to be quite as sanguine.


HUD : This I'm not so pleased with. Most MMOs seem to insist on opening with every possible form of visual pollution on by default and FFXIV is no exception. It's not much of an exaggeration to say that my first few minutes in any MMO is spent switching things off: in FFXIV that was my first hour. Most of the clutter does have a toggle in options and  I strongly recommend toggling player names off right away because if you don't...all that beautiful scenery I was raving about? You won't be seeing any of it.

My particular bugbear is the massive, bulbous targeting arrow that hangs over anything you fight like a sword of damocles that's swallowed a watermelon. That's where my first hour went - trying to switch that abomination off. Couldn't find a way. I've trained myself to ignore it now but there's no excuse for it, none at all.

FFXIV uses an awful lot of visual tells for combat. Too many. If a mob has its heart set on tearing your lungs out a looping arrow arcs from it to you to make it clear you're the current target. If you pass by two creatures close together you may see a little yellow arrow dart between them; it doesn't mean they're in love, it means if you attack one you'll get both. And of course almost everything you fight lays down some kind of red circle, square or triangle to warn you it's about to do something you probably want to avoid.

I could do without all of that. By the time you've added in spell effects (very good, those are) the center of the screen is a mess in a big fight. If you target with the mouse pointer as I prefer to do it can get tiring.

Sound and Music :  The music's great. The sounds aren't. Oh, the ambient sounds are fine. It's the combat sounds. Harsh, ugly, jarring. Nasty, artificial, synthetic. Fortunately you can turn them down. 

Storyline : I should have put that first because that's where the game puts it: front and center of your FFXIV experience. It's not bolted on like an iron appendix the way the Personal Story was in GW2, nor does it rumble away deep in the background where it can safely be ignored like it would in Everquest. This is Final Fantasy. The story is paramount.

Technically it's probably optional but if you don't do it you won't be getting on an airship, which means you'll either never leave (or never visit) La Noscea; you won't be joining a Grand Company or getting access to their gear; you won't be hiring a Retainer and without one of those you won't be selling anything on the Market; you won't be riding your own Chocobo or having him fight alongside you. These and no doubt many more key aspects of character progression are gated behind specific segments of the Main Storyline. There may be nothing to stop you leveling up without following the story but if you do you'll be half the Lalafel you could have been and that will make you very small indeed.

Fortunate, then, that the Main Storyline is a gem. It's well-paced, intriguing and well-written. There are some really good fights and set pieces, lots of endearing or infuriating characters and a truly huge amount of cut-scenes, to the point where sometimes it can start to feel like watching a movie with a lot of interruptions rather than playing a game.

I'm not a fan of front-end story in MMOs but there's always room for an exception or two. The Secret World was one and this is another. The problem of replayability looms large - I'm thoroughly enjoying the story first time round but I think I'd want a long break between repeats. Also, the voice acting is at best mediocre, often poor and sometimes entirely absent as though there wasn't time to finish it before launch.

I'm about as far from being a fan of Content or Progression Gating as it's possible to be, and yet I can't deny that getting each of these milestones has been immensely satisfying. Sometimes having to work for things does make you value them more. Who knew?

Combat, Classes and Jobs : What do I know? I play a Level 24 Arcanist who's done a bit of Fishing now and again. Mrs Bhagpuss and our Linkshellie (that's like a Guildie only even more twee) should be writing this bit. They've both raised plenty of classes, combat, crafting and gathering all. I'm the slacker who's stuck with just one.

I know the theory; you play up one class to 30, another to 15 and that gets you a Job, which suits for your role, be that DPS, Healer, Tank, Support or whatever else we have to look forward to (I've not done any real research about it because I'm still at the stage of enjoying not knowing what comes next). Meanwhile you also play several other classes high enough to open the key cross-class spells/skills you want and mix and match those into a build.

Theory remains theory. I play my Arcanist as she came out of the can because it's fun just like that. Combat at this basic level is no more than a few key-presses. Sic the bunny-squirrel on the funny-looking monster, Debuff, Dot, Nuke. First fifteen levels my blue Carbuncle (that's the bunny-squirrel) Nukes alongside me and whoever annoys the mob most also tanks. At fifteenth I get the yellow Carbuncle, who tanks like a block of concrete smeared in superglue and AEs so we get adds because he's like that.

It's all so familiar. It's an Everquest Mage, give or take. Mrs Bhagpuss added some Thaumaturge to the mix and says she's made an EQ Shaman. I'm really looking forward to working on cross-class skills and making some builds.

Let me say that again: I am looking forward to making some builds. I think it's safe to say that's the first time those words in that order have ever come out of this keyboard.

Roles : Joni Mitchell was half right. You may not know what you've got 'til it's gone but you really know when you get it back. A year of free-forming in GW2 and I'd about convinced myself that running around doing any old thing whenever I felt like it was the bees knees. Well it's not. Having a defined role, a function that gives authority and requires responsibility is. For a while, at least. No doubt in due time, as Syl observed recently, the wheel will turn again, but for now I'm reveling in the chance to Heal, Tank, and Control those Crowds.

Dedicated free-formers shouldn't automatically write FFXIV off as Dat Trinity, though. This is much more like the good old days where being in a group required several roles to be taken but didn't dictate who took them. The most satisfying instanced group I've done (I've only done four so don't read too much into it...) was the Afrit fight in which I somehow ended up in a PUG with no proper healer, something the Duty Finder should not have allowed. Having no healer effectively meant having no Tank either so we had to get creative. It took about an hour and we wiped half a dozen times but in the end we flattened Afrit using two Carbuncles to tank, with two Arcanists chain-healing like maniacs with our single heal spell and the Tank on DPS, along with the Thaumaturge who was the only one out of the four of us playing his designated role.

I hope to do more dungeons over the weekend. In PUGs. Another form of words that isn't often seen here. I'm harboring fantasies of main healing if I can build for it and develop enough confidence with the UI. It's been a long time but I'm sure this rust will scrape off, eventually.

Quests :  Controversial. I have a lot to say on the topic but this has run far too long already. I'd like to cover questing in FFXIV in detail separately some time but suffice to say I like it a lot. Best-written quests since TSW, funny, involving, absorbing and full of local color. Other people see them as insufferably dull and repetitive filler. Suck it and see.

I also very much enjoy the drop and drag and turn-the-page mechanics that others have roundly slated as archaic and unforgiveable. They suit me to a tee but I recognize they drive others to distraction. What can I say? I like a little grit in my oyster. That's how you get the pearl.

Loot and Storage : Odd, both of them. There don't seem to be any dropped useable items outside of dungeons and even inside of dungeons they only turn up in Chests. Mobs drop crafting mats and that seems to be it. I may have this wrong or it may change later on but that's how it appears to work. The loot goes straight into your packs, which seem to provide ample storage, just as well because I haven't yet seen any way to expand them. I'm informed that if you craft you run out of space fast but your Retainers (you can have two as standard and probably more later) can hold things for you. I think there's some form of banking because you can see the Vaults on the map and in the cities but so far I haven't been able to access it. Probably not far enough along in the storyline yet...

Enough! No More! I can't speak to the Crafting experience because I haven't even started yet and my Gathering knowledge is limited to a few casts of the rod. There's more, so much more, but that will have to do for now. It's early days yet and all MMOs have New Game Shine despite their equally inevitable Launch Issues, but so far FFXIV is becoming more appealing each time I log in. It's going to be a long, slow burner, this one, not a quick sugar rush. The issue isn't whether it has sufficient depth but whether I have sufficient patience. I think I might. I'll be subscribing, for a while at least. That's no longer in any kind of doubt.

Sitting It Out: GW2

Another hefty update landed squarely on top of GW2 yesterday but I wasn't there to see it. You'll have to try Jeromai or Ravious for the hands-on. J3w3l has plenty to say about it too although I'm not sure she's played any more than I have, or rather haven't. Still, even though I haven't logged in since the patch I think I can manage a few words of uninformed opinion sight unseen.

Oh, I'll probably pop in at the weekend just to see how the market has reacted to the new tier of crafting and the changes that turn Fine and Mastercrafted drops into some species of desirable resource for salvage rather than the vendor-fodder they have been for as long as anyone can remember, but I don't have any intention of playing. There is indeed a non-trivial chance that I am done with GW2 for the time being, although WvW remains an attractive option for weekend nights with a bottle of wine and I'm curious to see what they've done to Tequatl, who's due to show off his new tricks two Tuesdays down the line, so I'll probably be in and out for the foreseeable future.

There was certainly never much chance that I'd set foot in the Super Adventure Box again, no matter what, so the current furore of frustration would always have left me undisturbed. Josh Foreman could have put in a Fetus Level version where an NPC carried you around the course in a wheelbarrow and I wouldn't have bothered.

She's Gone Home!

I don't like 8-bit graphics. I was there the first time round, I didn't like them then and they haven't got any better with time. The whole thing has literally no nostaIgia value for me whatsoever and what's more I don't like jumping puzzles that exist for no other reason than to be jumping puzzles. Having to jump to traverse obstacles in order to partake in meaningful, satisfying activities in the open game is fine; hopping about to get to to chests or finish achievements seems about as meaningful or satisfying to me as filling out word searches, only a lot less relaxing.

That's the new content dismissed out of hand. Now for the new systems, namely the Ascended "it's not a gear-grind because you don't need the gear" gear grind,  the extra tier of crafting and the new way to get magic find. Let's take those one at a time.

Ascended Gear: if we need this stuff then, de facto, it's a gear grind and I'm not going to do it. If we don't need this stuff, as apologists for its inclusion assert, then why would I bother? If I'm as capable in my exotics then I'll stay in my exotics, thanks. If I need Ascended to compete then bye bye to competing. Either way, I'm out.

New Crafting Tier: I'll get to that if and when I finish all the previous ones. Maybe. Look, I've played an insane amount of hours for over a year now and I've maxed Leatherworker (last September), Cookery (last October) and Armorsmithing (about two months ago). All the rest I've started and then forgotten about. If I'm not interested enough to finish the crafting you've already given me I'm hardly going to hurl myself gratefully on the chance to do even more only with the added bonus of massively increased gathering grind and time-gating on what I can make, am I?

No, she stepped on you by accident

Magic Find: and this exists why? I've managed fine this last year without it. I never bought any special gear, I rarely ate any fruit pies, all the MF Boosters I've ever got are still in the bank (along with all of every other kind of booster, apart from two Crafting Boosters I used to finish Armorsmithing, a hint there towards how much I was enjoying that at the time...) and even in recent times when we've had the NPCs giving out vast MF buffs as often as not I've forgotten even to go and get those. I already get more loot than I know what to do with. I already have bags and bags full of Yellow weapons waiting to be broken down. The guild bank is dripping with unused Exotics. What in the name of the Elder Dragons do I need Magic Find for?

So, to sum up, this patch has nothing to interest me and plenty with the potential to annoy. Moreover, the things I really want to see added - housing, new races, new explorable maps, new, permanent dynamic events that are integrated in the environment in an immersive fashion - all these seem further away than ever. Like in that expansion we aren't going to get.

I reserve the right to eat my words when I log in and find I love the crafting or thoroughly enjoy working towards a full set of Ascended. I'm describing my reactions to what I think this patch will be like, not what it may in fact be. That still matters, though, because I have other eggs to fry right now and if what I hear about other MMOs, either through their direct publicity material or through word-of-mouth isn't actively attractive then I'll take my chances on missing out.

And anyway, bar the SAB, this stuff's not going anywhere. I'll get to it when I'm good and ready.