I Love LA

The second instalment of Guild Wars 2's revised, revamped, restored, Unlimited Edition of Living World, Season One, Chapter who-the-hell-knows? dropped in today's regular Tuesday update. ArenaNet gave it a title: Sky Pirates. Maybe I should just have called it that.

The first and last time we saw this content was the best part of a decade ago, so forgive me if I can't remember if it was called "Sky Pirates" the first time around. It wasn't, though. Possibly a part of it might have been. It's a portmanteau of the original version, several bi-weekly episodes welded together with all the loose, awkward bits lopped off.

Or I guess it is. I've only played the first part. That also has a name. A weird name. I mean, if you were sitting around a table or in a bean bag or hanging over the divider of your cubicle or however they do it at ANet Towers, a bunch of you blueskying ideas on what to call to call your opening act, would you have come up with this?

"Ceremony and Acrimony." Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, does it? Okay, yes, well, maybe it does, meliflously-speaking. It has mouth feel, I'll give you that. But it reeks of academia. Is that the first impression you want to make? 

And subtitling it "Memorials on the Pyre"? That just makes the whole thing sound even more like an essay title you'd be unreasoningly proud of until your tutor trotted out that line about killing your babies.

Whatev. I played through it. Took me, I don't know, fifteen minutes? I wasn't counting. 

I remembered it very well, once it got going. It's the one where you get invited to the inaugural Dragon Bash in Lion's Arch and get to stand there like Magnus's spare prosthetic while the one-eyed pirate introduces all his pirate pals and makes some piratical jokes that are about as funny as you'd expect. 

Then all the minor races or whatever now-unacceptable phrase we used to use back in the Personal Story waddle or stride or slither forward (No, come to think of it, no-one invited the Krait.) to throw their memorials onto the pyres.

I always found that part a little strange. I don't think you get any idea what the "memorials" are. I couldn't see them but then I was having a lot of lag. Gendaran Fields was a slideshow, thanks to everyone standing about pointlessly just outside the gate to LA. and my PC was still struggling to recover for a while even when I got into the instance.

As soon as the pyres catch fire, a whole load of pinky-purple lightning shoots out and zaps everyone. It was quite a shock the first time around but I was expecting it this time. As I said, I could remember nearly everything, much to my surprise. 

At the time it seemed like everyone either got zapped into the air or ran away or fell over but I see from the above shot that really all that happened was everyone stood there gawping as if it was all part of the show. Probably the most realistic thing in the entire episode, then.

After that there's a whole load of yelling, all of it by Ellen Kiel, at this time still some kind of officer in the Lion Guard, I think. I won't spoil the plot and tell you what happens to her later but it was one of my favorite parts of Season One... other than the result. Vote Evon!

Eventually a dolyak turns up, towing what looks like a scout tent fitted with anti-grav. You, the Commander, get drafted for escort duty as the hairy yak plods across the big bridge that goes to... dammit, I should know this... some part of the Old Lions Arch I used to visit all the time... no, it's no good, it's gone.

The main reason I was hyped to play this right away was the rumor I heard that we'd get to see the old Lion's Arch again. Not the original original, the one that was damaged by the Karka Invasion. That's gone for good, I think. This would be the one after that, with the lighthouse still in ruins and some of the wooden temporary bridges still in place.

I never thought we'd get  a free run at the whole city but I did think we might get to see the Lion Fountain again. I wasn't sure about that, either. It got destroyed at least twice and rebuilt at least once but I couldn't tell you without looking it up what state it was in when Dragon Bash came along.

Wouldn't have made any difference if I could because the Captain's Council had the thing replaced by a hologram projector for the festival anyway. I remembered that as soon as I saw the ugly Asuran contraption. (You can see it in the picture at the top of the post, if you really want to.)

You can see from the above map exactly how much and which part of Lion's Arch you get to reminisce over. From the Grand Plaza to Fort Mariner. Fort Mariner! That's the bunny! Geez, my memory...

It's not much but it gives you the sweet taste. It's a tease to be able to see the rest of the city, just out of reach. Clearly they could give us back the whole thing if they wanted. Maybe in another chapter. I seem to remember Dragon Bash itself took place right across the city.

Of course, they'll have to bring back the entire map if they plan on doing Scarlet's attack on Lion's Arch and I don't see how they could conceivably run Season One without it. By then, though, half the city's a smoking ruin so it'll hardly be the same.

I would happily have carried on with the next chapter but Beryl the Dog chose then to go completely crazy and I had to spend half an hour throwing things for her in the garden until she calmed down. It's a puppy thing. I'm working tomorrow so it'll probably be Thursday before I get to carry on.

Here's hoping we get to see more of the Old Lion's Arch, while it's still almost in one piece.

Lion's Arch: A Work In Progress? : GW2

Halloween in Tyria is almost over. Tomorrow the Lionguard will pack up all the hay bales and pumpkins and ship them off of to the Ascalonian farmlands for the Charr farmers to use as winter cattle-feed. They'll unhook the bat bunting from the streetlights and pack it away for next year. You didn't think those were real bats did you? Mad King Thorn and his emo offspring Prince "Don't Call Me Eddie" Edrick will return to the Mad Realm by whatever wormhole in the space-time continuum they arrived and that will be that until Tixx's airship drones into view towing Wintersday behind it.

Between holidays we'll all just have to make do with that old chestnut, the life or death battle with the dragons, as Meldromoth makes his bid for floral world domination. Ho hum.

I've enjoyed this year's Halloween. Better than the first, back in 2012, which inconveniently arrived just as we were about to go on holiday and upset me with its needless vandalism. Better than last year's on which I didn't even bother to report. No, this year we've both done our Halloween dailies every day, enjoyed the odd zerg around The Mad Lab, acquired kittens with bows, 20 slot pails and candy by the barrow-load and its all been jolly good fun. Even Mad King Thorn seems to have acquired a new gag writer. We can only hope the old one suffered a similar fate to the hapless Estrella, who he put in a coffin filled with rats and dumped into the sea.

Perhaps the most enjoyable part of the whole holiday has been the way it brought Lion's Arch back to life. Well, I say that. It may well be that L.A. has been a bustling hive of happy activity for months. I wouldn't know. I've barely been there since we drove out Scarlet's armies and left a smoking ruin in place of the magical, piratical, wooden wonderland we all loved or at least loved to stand around in.

So, what progress has been made on the repairs and refurbishment of the city and the re-housing of the refugees towards which we all contributed so generously during Queen Jenna's last Pavilion bash? It's your money they're spending after all. Here's a pictorial progress report.

The Financial Center 

The Vault. One bored, irritable guard. Guarding an empty building. Progress: zero.

The Trading Post. One skritt of dubious fiscal probity running a grey-market lottery out of a derelict shell. Progress: Zero.

Infrastructure

Bridges and walkways. Workers still hammering away. Roads still full of holes. Progress: Zero.

Facilities

The Lighthouse. Fully rebuilt and looking great. Shame that project dates back to the Karka invasion. Progress: None required.

Emergency Services

Fires and debris. Still raging and/or lying there. Delete as appropriate. Progress: zero.

Rehousing

Private residency. Looting rampant. Corrupt Lionguard observed in the act of accepting a bribe of Krait wine. Progress: uncertain.

Recreation and Entertainment

Tigg's Moa Races. Asura entrepreneur getting back on his feet thanks to family backing. No evidence of any help or assistance from the authorities. Progress: encouraging but independent.

And there you have it. A damning indictment of the inadequate and incompetent response of the Lion's Arch authorities. That's what you get for voting in Kiel. Evon would have had the trains running on time by now. If we had trains.

The Carnival Moves On : GW2

Call that a dynamic event? It's cultural vandalism, I tell you! The empty plinth in the Grand Piazza stands in mute testimony to the lengths to which some people will go to get attention. And I'm not just talking about Mad King Thorn, either!

There's something missing...

The pumpkins have all been packed away, the bats have flown back to their caves. The candy corn high as an elephant's eye has popped (although once in a while you can still see one flicker into view in some ghostly glitch). All that's left is that empty plinth and a guy in an unconvincing home-made Mad King costume.

I'd be spitting nails if it wasn't for this from ANet Dev Josh Foreman:

"I worked way too hard on that thing to throw it away! That would make me cry. Haha… spent a lot of my free time on it actually. You know it has 4,000 frames of animation, and I had to hand track every single frame that a splash happened on every single fish for the audio guys to sync it up. Not that we will never permanently destroy anything. In fact… well, I can’t say more than that. But NOT the lion statue. It’s the symbol of LA. Like the Statue of Liberty is for New York or the Eiffel Tower is for Paris."

You're a lot shorter than I expected

Although later in the same thread, from "North American Community Team Lead" Regina Buenaobra:

 "The Lion’s Arch lion statue is gone for now. Mad King Thorn really did a number on it. As to whether it will return—anything is possible."

I'm all for meaningful change but not the Lion !!  Which, of course, is the problem. You can have change to things that don't really matter and no-one will be upset, but then no-one will care much either. Or you can make a real and lasting change that affects everyone and trust the thrill to carry you through the complaints. The Lion is a great example of how hard it is even to tell which is which.

There's been much discussion of late about whether MMOs can or should have change. How much? How often? How deep? How sudden? Azuriel and Syl  both have something to say about that and so do their commenters. Some people think removing a bit of street furniture barely qualifies as change at all, while others practically need counseling.

C'mon, lady! Get a grip!

When it comes to change there's concern both over how sudden and unexpected it is and whether it's a one-time "you had to be there" thing or a "no hurry, we'll be here all week" affair.

When Rift threw its very first major event the climax was a one-off that many players missed. It didn't go down well and Trion have made sure since then to keep their events inclusive, in keeping with the changes they made throughout the game in late beta and just after launch, when the inconvenience of planar armies wiping out quest hubs and invading troops killing players all along the pathways was deemed to outweigh the excitement and Telon became a blander, if safer place.

I think it says something about spoons

It's far too early yet to say which way ArenaNet will jump. With Halloween down they've moved surprisingly quickly to announce the next, non-holiday event Lost Shores. The iconic statue may have vanished but at least we have beached whales! And flyposting! And endless speculation between now and the 16th of November, a day on which both I and Mrs Bhagpuss will be at work.

Will we miss it all again, like we missed three-quarters of Halloween? Whether we do or don't, plenty will. Does that matter? For all I know we may be enjoying Storm Legion so much by then that we'll opt out anyway. In the end we can't do it all and it would be crazy to try. On balance I'd rather miss out on something amazing than never have anything amazing to miss out on.

As to whether something can truly be called "amazing" if it goes on happening indefinitely to order, well that tends to depend on what's so amazing about it to begin with. If it's a Mad King tearing down a giant statue, that can really be amazing only once. An incredible, intricate work of art, though, that has the power to be amazing always.

Put it back. Now.