Friday, March 25, 2022

Feline Weird In Lost Ark

Here are some screenshots. I think they sum up just what a freakishly weird game Lost Ark is better than anything I could put into in words.

A six-foot tall, black and white cat, an unnerving, yellow sparkle in its eye, a gold bell on its crimson collar, sprawls in the middle of a cobbled city street. The cat leans back in a disturbingly human pose. Beside the cat sits a large, white rabbit. Strapped to the bunny's back are a pair of ornate leather panniers and a scroll case as though it were a beast of burden. Behind the unnatural pair an imposing, high-renaissance ceremonial arch reaches towards the blue sky. Heroic statues salute. Guards stand at attention. Children with wooden swords play at being soldiers. No-one seems to find anything about the scene remotely unusual.

Now the cat is standing up. From somewhere (Who knows where?) it has produced a pistol. It stands in a dueling pose, the gun in front of the eye that doesn't sparkle, the other arm (Hand? Paw?) concealed behind its back. The rabbit, unconcerned, seems to be playing with something on the ground.

The pistol vanishes. The cat begins to dance. The cat has moves. The cat wants you to know about them. The rabbit pays the cat no mind. Neither does anyone else.

As if concealing a weapon while naked isn't enough, the cat brings out a six-foot hoverboard. From where, again, who can say? The board, vividly illustrated, is decorated with, among other things, an embossed head. Whose head? Of what creature? That, at least, can be explained.

Although there is no photographic evidence to prove it, that is the image of a known associate of the cat, a small, teardrop-shaped entity with appendages that could as easily be leaves as ears. The cat has been seen walking the streets with the leaf-headed creature by its side. Where the creature is now is as much a mystery as where the hoverboard came from.

The cat, justifiably proud of its ability to dance while standing on a hoverboard, performs for its own amusement. No-one watches. No-one cares. The city has only recently avoided being destroyed by fire during a demonic invasion. The entire nation is locked in an existential struggle with the forces of darkness. A cat on a hoverboard doesn't merit a second glance.

As I said in a comment to Aywren, who posted pictures of her character in Lost Ark, dressed as a mouse "I was already having trouble trying to work out just what sort of game Lost Ark was trying to be but now these costumes are part of it I think I’ll just give up trying. Clearly, whoever’s behind it just doesn’t care, so why should we?"


  1. Okay, so there's a furry in LostArk. A furry riding a hoverboard.

    Not what I was expecting.

    1. Since everyone got the celebration pack there must be hundreds of thousands of them. They were everywhere tonight!

  2. Can confirm, I saw them everywhere this evening too.

    I haven't even claimed my pack yet. I certainly will at some point, but I'm not sure I'll ever use any of its (cosmetic) contents. Although you make it sound pretty funny I could very well do without these immersion-breaking doodads.

    1. I think you can pretty much take it this is only the beginning. I'm not sure immersion is a concept the developers of most imported titles are interested even in paying lip service to. I just think it seems weirder in Lost Ark than most because of the contrast between the extremely detailed 2.5d graphics and the cartoonish and obviously designed for 3D cosmetics.

    2. I agree, things are probably only going to get weirder.

      Fortunately there are really decent alternatives too, be it costumes (at least for male characters), pets or mounts, so at least I won't have to use the stuff I don't like myself.


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