The Cat's In The Bag! : GW2

Passing grade on the current Guild Wars 2 assignment is sixty per cent. A couple of the papers are gimmes. Pop a support token in the voting basket, that's one.  Finish your dailies three times with the colors of your candidate flying, that's two. Peasy. Did those ages ago.

Then there are a couple almost as simple that just take a bit longer; twenty events in your candidate's homeland with the button up and fifteen rounds of Southsun Survival.

Ooh, that second one sounds scary! It does, doesn't it? Well it's not, because you don't need to win, or even try. Doesn't matter if you come dead last every time. You just have to be there at the end, fifteen times. Anyone can do that, even if they hate PvP.

Four down. Need two more. If you like Dungeons there's another gimme. Finish any one dungeon with the button on. If you like Fractals, same thing, except it has to be the Jade Maw. (Don't look at me, I never even heard of it).

I don't like dungeons or fractals. What does that leave? I need two more

Master Marksman for one. Shoot ten people in the head. That's another Southsun Survival one. Surprisingly easy so long as you don't mind PvP. I did that. Enjoyed it too. Shot a few more people than I probably needed to, as it happens. Don't judge me.

That's seven. Three left. The hard ones. There's one that's hard 'cos it takes ages and two that are hard 'cos they're hard. The slow one is getting two and a half thousand points at Southsun Survival. I could do that but I reckon it would take me about 70-75 rounds, which, even if no-one tries to win by hiding, is something like ten hours.

I got 530 points from fifteen goes. Best score was 60. Came second that time, using my secret strategy (that I adapted from  Jeromai's. Alright, it's basically same as his only with more Karka). After the first couple of runs, when I was still trying to win and came last or thereabouts with two points if I was lucky, I changed to that tactic and from then on I averaged forty to sixty points a go. Still going to take way too long to get 2500, though, so forget that one.

Okay, so I ruled out dungeons, fractals and point accumulation and ruled in headshots. Got five. Need one more.

Not much choice. None, in fact. The last two are Direct Support and Advanced Support and you can't do Advanced until you've done Direct, so Direct Support it is. And what is it? It's stopping a lot of filthy pirates stealing Gnasher's hard-stolen-won plunder, that's what it is. Jeromai (yes, him again) has masses of detail about how it works. He could also do it. And the Advanced. Probably while whistling "Yes We Have No Bananas" in two-part harmony. I couldn't.

I could do part one alright. Did it first time, never even knew what I was doing. Just followed Gnasher's lackey to the piles of loot we were protecting and killed everything that ran at us. Didn't even realize they were trying to steal the treasure - I thought they were trying to kill us. Which they were, although only incidentally. Got silver on that, first time: Direct Support 1/2.

So we "upped it a notch" That what the woman called it. More like twenty notches. Tried it with a ranger. Died. Tried it with the other ranger, the one that uses traps. Lived, but lost. Snares, roots, knockbacks, spikes, no good. Same thing every time. Too many plunderers, too few of me. I need someone who can be in two places at once.

Enter the Engineer. He gave it a great shot. Turrets at both plunderer spawns and him playing catcher inbetween. Best run, 500 plunder left and 3 seconds to go, but by then I swear there were four plunderers in play (for a fact, three) and one got home.

Only one class left on this account. Cometh the hour, cometh the necromancer. First run's close, but all the runs are close. Close does not get you the cigar. Or the Achievement. If this doesn't work it'll be time to drag Mrs Bhagpuss away from Tinkerfest. No, come on, you can do it.

Yes I can, too! Maybe it's a slight change of tactic. - kill more things. Maybe it's just luck. Maybe necros are just badass. Five hundred in the pot as the clock ticks the last few seconds and look! Not a plunderer alive! The little necro scrapes home and Gnasher's so happy he breaks off a bit of himself and gives it to her. That's how she sees it anyway. Necros are like that.

All that for an Evon Gnashblade mini. It's the biggest mini I've ever seen, mind you. It's literally taller than she is. Still, I don't collect minis. I can't keep them in the bag five minutes before I've sent them back to the bank by mistake so what's the point? Why did I start this in the first place?

Syp's joined the doubters. He's not having fun. I am, though and that's the problem. I'm doing things I don't want to do for reasons I can't explain to get rewards I don't want to have and I'm enjoying it.

I think I need an Intervention.